Still waiting... feels like forever but I know it will be worth it!! I did do something bad today... I took a pregnancy test.. and it was negative. Words can't really describe how much my heart is aching. I know that a negative test doesn't mean I am not pregnant but it just worries me. It is difficult for me to think about but I have to start to process the fact that I may never get to experience the wonderful joy of carrying a baby.
I DO believe in GOD and believe that he will give me the desires of my heart... There is nothing I have ever wanted more than this.. Please GOD let this be it!!
You have been on my mind soooo much! Every time you pop into my head I've stopped to pray! You and Matt will be wonderful parents when and how God chooses you to become a mommy and daddy. Ya'll will be the best! My heart aches that you are still dealing with all this, but try to keep your chin up! I know I don't have the right words to make it all better, but just know I'm praying and I love ya!
ReplyDeleteMy friend, I wish I could take your place, I wish I could feel this pain for you... There are no words that anyone can say at this moment to help you feel any better.... but I do know what you are going through in the fact that I can honestly say that at the time when those words, "I'll never be pregnant" run through your head with a quick chaser of , "Why, is this the road you have for us?" I truly believe that there are those of us that are meant to experience some things in life that are painful, only to experience God's joy in the after math.... there are only those that are to feel utter terror at the thought that their chance is gone... to have their eyes opened to the true story of God's grace behind the tears... Erin, I don't know why this is happening,I am not big enough to see the corner of God's story board, but your there.... this is your story, he is walking with you, and he hears your cry's, he see's your tears, and he know's the in's and out's of the want's of your heart and my friend, he is faithful! My prayer that for anyone reading this as my heart is lifting you up, that they will to, say a prayer, lift you up that God's will be done in your life and that his grace will cover you and peace fill you like nothing you have ever known... Your journey is just beginning....he will not leave you, he won't forsake you and he is not punishing you .... he is loving you in a way you can not see, and n some way's may never see. I love you, we are praying for you, and God is keeping you in his hands.
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